I see the boys running,
I know that they’re there;
and I know that for me,
they might not care;
yet something within me,
finds home in their eyes,
amidst all the tears,
I’ve imagined them cry.

Inevitably I find myself,
falling deeply, and hopelessly,
in love with strangers from foreign lands.
Inevitably I find myself,
daydreaming about a kiss, or a touch.
Inevitably I begin to lose myself,
within this fantasy inside my mind.
Inevitably I wake. Inevitably.

Meaningless encounters,
seek meaning in my head.
Like meaningful encounters,
with the souls of the dead.

When I learn a new language,
I learn first to say,
“I’m Sorry”, and then, “It’s Okay”;
for then I will know what to say to myself,
when I must pick up the remains of my heart,
when it lays in pieces, in the throes of a foreign dark.

Deep red veins,
through which I now swim–
If only I’d known of your bleeding ocean,
before I jumped in.

Was it your permanence,
that I got comfortable with?
Or was it your words,
that enchanted me so?
kept me low,
and kept me here?

were they even your words though?

Alas, not even the pain may linger,
as I pack up my heart, and pick up my bags,
to embark on another foreign start.
Inevitably I shall sleep once more,
Inevitably I shall wake.
Inevitably I shall lose some more,
Inevitably.